


Sucker Love

by RamblingPug



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood Play, Eremika - Freeform, Eremika Week, F/M, Sexual Content, vamp! eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:45:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4977649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamblingPug/pseuds/RamblingPug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Ten years, Eren Jaeger's hid from the girl he loves, haunted by memories of his own mistake. But now she's found him, and it's difficult to stay in control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sucker Love

**Author's Note:**

> This title was taken from 'Every you, Every me' by Placebo, and my story is almost as messed up as the song.

The soap stung against his hands, his palms already rubbed dry with the previous twenty times he's rinsed them.

He rubs his face furiously, but nothing he does is enough to shake off the image of blood dripping from his mouth.

_Her blood._

Tears well up in his eyes, choking sobs wrenching from his gut.

It had started out innocently enough.

Well not quite innocent, because that wasn't the word he would use to describe the position they were in, with his fingers buried inside her, his mouth nibbling delicate trails down her neck.

He only remembers her moans, her breathless commands for him to go harder, faster, _deeper_ , the way she opened so beautifully to him, her legs spreading so eagerly for him.

He doesn't know when the scent overtook him, the heady aroma of her arousal and the blood, thrumming hard and fast in her veins. He remembers even less when his teeth tore into her skin and tasted her for the first time, a taste so exquisite, it would haunt him for the rest of his life.

From that point on things happened so fast it was almost a blur, but the image of her pale, collapsed, _unmoving_ , blood dripping down his mouth and the side of her neck was imprinted into his memory forever.

"... Eren."

He looks up to see the reflection of his father in the mirror, his jaw set in a grim line.

"... She's going to make it, right...?"

He hasn't heard himself sound this weak since grade school. Not since losing to the new girl at the park left him in tears every single day.

Now that same girl, older now, the same one he had held so many times, was in the hospital, battling for her life... And it was completely, entirely, _his_ doing.

Grisha just nods, knowing that words will serve no purpose here, because Eren is already broken, too damaged by the truth of his own nature to be consoled by petty words.

"... We need to leave, Eren."

He knew what his father meant, that he wasn't talking about leaving the bathroom, or the hospital, or even leaving to go visit Mikasa... He was talking about leaving town... _Forever._

"You can't just expect me to leave her like this," he cries, "she needs me," -

The stinging sound of a slap rang loud and clear across the stalls of the bathroom.

"... Let's not forget the reason she's in the hospital, in the first place."

And all he could do was hold his cheek gingerly, tears burning the red imprint of his father's hand across his skin, because those words were much a needed reminder.

Even though guilt ripped through him for what he had done, a small part of him, stubborn and child-like, still longed to be at her bedside, to hold her hand till her eyes opened again.

"I will say this only once," Grisha murmurs sombrely, "and you will do well to listen."

"... She is better off without you."

...

Most people say that medical anesthesia induces a deep, peaceful, dreamless sleep. But instead of the black nothingness that was supposed to surround her, Mikasa remembers only red, swirling around her like pretty petals falling from the sky... And a _voice._

_"...Mikasa...?"_

_"... Oh god, no, please wake up Mikasa, please..."_

She can hear soft sobs in the background.

_"... What have I done... Dad? What's happening?"_

_"... Why won't she open her eyes...?"_

There is pain, heavy, scathing in this voice, and she wants to go to him, to the voice that's crying for her.

But she can't, for the love of him, seem to open her eyes.

...

When she finally does wake, to the dull, throbbing pain of having one too many tubes stuck in her body, she sees Armin, his eyes lighting up as if in slow motion.

"Mikasa," he mumbles, hugging her gingerly, "I was so worried... What _happened_ to you?"

Her hands feel stiff, like lead, but she lifts them to her head anyway, rubbing her forehead slowly. "... I don't know..."

She would've asked where she was, but her consciousness had revived to the point where she could recognize the constant beeping and the bottles of liquid hung over her head.

She was in the hospital.

"Your parents _just_ went to grab a bite... They've been here for the past ten hours, waiting for you to wake up..."

"... Armin," she asks slowly, her tongue hurting to even speak, "... Where's Eren?"

He gulped, the blue in his eyes crinkling with regret.

"... He," he hesitates, not knowing how to tell her that when he had called him, there was no answer, and that when he had run over to his house, frantic, pounding on his door desperately, nobody had opened the door either. "... He seems to have gone away for a bit."

...

Working for the Bureau has taught her a host of things. Of these life lessons, the most important is to always be _prepared._  With a job that has such high amounts risk involved on a daily basis, being prepared for the worst is a lifestyle that she has adapted to. Be it an explosion, a knife at her throat, or being held at gunpoint, she’s seen it all and come out unfazed.

But standing here, across the room from a man she hasn’t seen in years, she is definitely not prepared for the impatient scowl spreading across his sharp features.

“How did you find me?”

Contempt oozes out of his words, thick and poisonous, flowing onto her and leaving their sting, but she doesn’t show it. It’s a trait she’s mastered over the years.

“I work for the Bureau,” she says impassively, “We have our ways.” _Ways that have been useless for the past ten years_ , she wants to add, but she elects to keep quiet.

They stare each at other for what seems like hours, angry flashes of green boring into her glimmering grey. He is visibly seething and a part of her is smiling inside because after ten years of not knowing if he was alive or dead, she is ready to give anything to just look at him, angry or not.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn’t _want_ you to find me?” he hisses, his tone rising.

 _Every day,_ she thinks sombrely. She was never under any illusions. She realized within the first one year of his devastating disappearance from her life that he didn’t want anything to do with her.

“I needed to know that you were okay.”

_That you were alive. Happy._

Before her well trained eyes can register it, he is in front of her, pinning her against the wall. His presence is everywhere, all around her and she can barely breathe. Dazedly, she wonders when Eren learnt to move that fast.

He grits his teeth, eyes gleaming menacingly. “Well here I am, Mikasa.” He hovers right above her, his face barely inches away. “Do I look okay enough for you?”

She nods mutely, crushed by the power of this man to make her feel so vulnerable. “I thought you were dead,” she whispers, looking into his bright verdant orbs, still revelling in the fact that he isn’t _dead,_ he is very much alive and standing right in front of her.

The fear, the undeniable dread in her voice as she utters those words is so powerful, he is this close to breaking down, the heady scent of having her in his arms making him completely weak.

He backs away, knowing that this kind of proximity, the nature of this conversation is heading down a dangerous path for the both of them and so he steps away, giving back her breathing space.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he steels himself, works up the courage to say the words that are the very opposite of what he so desperately wants.  “You need to leave.”  

Desperation washes over, fuelled by the withdrawal of having him so close to her. “I’ve never stopped looking,” she says, looking away. “Not once.”

“You weren’t supposed to be looking for me,” he mutters, but it’s futile. He knew perfectly well how she worked.

“There were no traces of you anywhere,” she continues bleakly, “not until you contacted Armin.”

 _A moment of weakness._ When he had learnt his best friend was getting married, he had fought every fibre in his body to not get onto the first plane back home and share his moment of happiness with him. So he did something almost as stupid. He had left a voice message.

_“Congratulations, buddy. Never thought you’d go for the rough ones. I hope you and Annie share a wonderful life ahead.”_

He had taken enough precaution to use a public phone, but he should’ve known that there was no stopping Mikasa.

“He told you,” he mutters, wondering why he’s even surprised, it was the obvious course of action. “That bastard…”

“He’s the only who’s ever understood,” she whispers, and it’s then that he sees her properly, for the first time this evening. He sees the helpless look in her pools of grey and guilt washes over him like a tidal wave. “I came back from the hospital and you were gone.”

He doesn't say anything, doesn't look at her - he _can't_ \- not with the memories of what left her in the hospital playing so vividly in his mind.

"... Eren?" Her voice wavers, but she powers on, because she's lived for ten years without any answers, all her memories shaken, ever since that day. "What happened that day?"

He cursed. It was everything he _never_ wanted, to relive those memories - and even worse - recount them to the girl who'd almost _died_ in his hands.

"... You don't remember anything...?"

She shook her head. "I remember we were in your room... We were," she blushes at this point, because the sight of _her_ at that moment, so lost in her own pleasure would have made _anyone_ blush, "... And the next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital."

"... Convenient," he mutters, irrationally angry with her for remembering only the pretty, happy moments, while he was cursed to live with the guilt.

"Well," he whispers, a slight evil glint in his glowing green eyes, "Let's help you remember then."

He walks toward her slowly, dispelling his jacket, and unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt. It was such a loose, effortless motion, and she knows that on some level this was what she desired, but for some reason she takes a step back.

Soon, she finds herself pressed up against the wall, with nowhere to run or hide, not knowing why she's thinking of that all of a sudden, with him looming over her, the beautiful green eyes she remembers now dark and stormy.

"Why so scared, Mikasa?" He asks, mockingly, "You don't remember anything anyway."

It makes no sense, these tears that well up in her eyes, because she's dreamt of him for so long, of him like this, close to her. But something feels different, more sinister, and it makes her edgy.

"Shhh," he whispers, as the first tear drop rolls its way down her cheek, guilty on some level that he's scaring her, but she's so close to him, her heartbeat pounding so loud and alluring in his ears, that he was beyond just simply turned _on._ "... I just want to pick up where we left off."

Her mouth responded eagerly to him despite her fear, her body pressing up against him the way it remembered, lithe muscle against his slightly larger frame.

He wasn't sure what kind of seduction he was aiming for, because it felt like _he_ was the one melting, his objectionable heart like putty in her hands, so lost in the exquisite sweetness of her mouth, that he thinks he's quite willing to forget all the threats he had just made, as long as she stays like this, wrapped in his arms for eternity.

"Mikasa," he groans, as her legs rub up against his growing hardness, testing his control further.

"... I missed you..." She mumbles, in between kisses, unwilling to let go of his mouth even for these much needed words.

It was somewhere at this point, when he is so lost in this shameless gyrating, that he nips on her lower lip roughly, willing her to give into him, his tongue sweeping into her, that he is aware of the cold, metallic tinge of something in the kiss and he doesn’t need to think twice about what it really is.

He staggers back, desperate to get away from her, away from the mistake that threatened to repeat itself all over again.

He sees her eyes recover slowly from their glaze, her breathing still uneven.

_She probably didn't even realise._

But the panic seized him, making him crumble to the floor, his voice pleading. "... You need to leave, Mikasa... _Please._ "

Her lips tremble, the undeniable feeling of rejection flooding through her. "... Is there," she hesitates, because it's the only thing she could think of "... Someone else?"

It had been ten years after all. Maybe she really didn't have a place in his life anymore.

There was something about the way her words hit him, deep and accusing, and so very broken, that the the precious string of control that was holding him steady, snapped.

"Is that what you think?" He whispers, wondering just how she could deny the truth even after so long.

"Look at me, Mikasa," he murmurs hoarsely, "I'm a _monster."_ Because despite living among his own kind for the past ten years, he could never see it any other way.

"... This place that you stumbled into, its filled with the whole lot of us filthy vampires. You've stumbled right into the goddamn hellhole and I can hardly protect you from myself..." He took a deep breath." _How will I protect you from the others?"_

Her head reeled with his admission. Yet, on some level, she can't deny that she had harboured a suspicion, especially when she had found evidence of his residence in this area.

"I don't need your protection, Eren. I'm strong, I," -

\- "I almost _killed_ you, Mikasa," he grits out, anger flashing in his bright eyes, like it always does, when she thinks she doesn't _need_ him, "... _That's_ what happened ten years ago."

Her eyes widened, shock coursing its way through her.

"And do you know why?" He asks bitterly.

"... Because I _wanted_ you. And here you are, right in front of me, and all I can think of is taking you, _possessing_ you, all over again."

Because that was the _truth,_ that's all he _can_ think of, the softness of her lips as it brushed against his, the tentative flick of her tongue, her sweet breath mingling with his…

_And the delicious scent of her blood, pumping through her veins._

And all he wants is to feel them all... all over again.

Her eyes fall to the floor, the tears streaming freely now. She knew what he was trying to do.

But he would never understand, that for her, he could say _anything_ and it would never be enough to scare her away.

Because in Mikasa's eyes it was all the same, lifelessness, or a life without him, knowing that he hurts for her too, wants her in whatever twisted way that he does... _It was just too fucking painful._

And she had already lived ten years of this hell. He was here now, in front of her, and she wasn't willing to give up this glimpse of paradise, no matter how fucked up it was.

She bit into her already split lip, the blood only too happy to be relieved of its container, smearing all over her lip.

She watched as his pupils dilated, blown by the sheer arousal of her act, and it was probably downright depraved, but she was pretty sure that if he kept looking at her like that, she would be alright.

 _"_ If this is _all_ you want," she whispers, walking towards him, the blood dripping in a beautiful red trail down her chin as she sat down astride him.

She angled her chin so that the drop would fall perfectly into his waiting, parted mouth.

_"... Then take me."_

_-Fin-_

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was a slightly messed up story, but if you've made it till here, then your comments are precious to me. :)


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